"I'll never let you go."
"Ah... When you say that my heart hurts..."

ch: 161cm - 5'3"
hw: 48kg - 106lbs
cw: 45kg - 99lbs
lw: 44kgs - 97lbs
1gw: 45kgs - 99lbs
2gw: 43kgs - 95lbs
3gw: 40kgs - 88lbs
ugw: 38kgs - 84lbs


thinspooooo

48kg = 105lbs
45kg = 99lbs
43kg = 94.6lbs

slowly losing weight yessssssss thinspiration blogs ilusm
ultimate goal is to be around 38-40kg yeah

"What's wrong?" He asked her. They lay next to each other on his bed as they talked.
"I don't want to say," She mumbled. "It's stupid."
"You can tell me anything," He touched her arm gently.
"Well..." She hesitated for a very long time. "I was trying to get your attention the whole day and... now that we're home you want to make out and feel me up."
He looked stunned, then sorrowful. "I'm sorry... Today was just very busy and I had to make sure everyone was having a good time and all... I didn't mean for you to get upset, or to ignore you... We won't kiss then, if you're uncomfortable."
"No I want to..." But then she remembered another thing that upset her. "What if... you become tired of me?"
"Huh?"
"Like... I feel like I'm finding less things in common with you because you're growing up-"
"Yes because growing old is fun."
"I mean," She gave a half smile, "I can't talk about manga, or tafe courses, or finding a full-time job... But what if you find a girl who can talk about all those things, and what if she's really pretty? I just have a hard time talking about stuff that you like... What if there's a girl in your tafe class that loves everything that you do and you become interested in her and-"
He kissed her. He let go. "Stop worrying."
But just because he said that doesn't mean the feeling won't go away.

i wish you could just read my fucking posts and get the fuck off the game i started playing first

my heart rate feels slow. my breathing is deep. every breath i take hurts a little. every move i make hurts a little more. all i can think about is crying and hating every bit of myself. from the physical attributes to the psychological, it is all the stupid same to me now. you tell me the opposite every time, but i can't agree. why can't you see that i'm such a horrible person? i lie, i control, i become jealous. is that every human being? yes. but you are different. you aim to not do those types of things, whereas i, allow them to happen to me. 
then i start thinking more about you. why i let these fights happen, i don't know. my heart feels heavy, to the point where it feels harder to breathe. i want to vomit out my insides. i have the urge to take a train to your home right now and apologise. it's only an hour away. sighing every two seconds. i don't deserve you. but i don't want you to leave. crying my heart out for someone i don't think would bother crying for me. 
my eyes are stinging. my throat is killing me.

i wish i never fucking introduced you to that fucking game fucking ugh

Labels: why am i like this